My mother-in-law gave me this book a couple of years ago and I wanted to blog about it. I really learned a lot from it. It talks about raising responsible, independent children and ways to do that. The author tells this story:
She was having a church meeting at her home with two ladies she referred to as "Martha Stewart I and Martha Stewart II". While they were meeting in the kitchen, her 3 yr. old walks in, goes to the pantry and pulls out peanut butter, jelly and bread. He carefully laid out the bread on the floor and proceeded to make himself a sandwich. She saw him out of the corner of her and didn't do a thing. She noticed the other two women developing facial expressions and twitches. Finally one of them said, "Merilee! Your son is making a sandwich on the bare floor!" she responded, "I know isn't that fantastic! He just learned how to make sandwiches this week." She then turned to her son with a big smile and said, "Tanner, I am so proud of you. What a yummy sandwich you've made!" He was beaming with pride as he walked out with his sandwich.
That struck me because I would have been the Martha Stewart character and had my son do it on the table. So, it helped me learn to let my kids be individuals and do things on their own, their own way. (within reason, of course) Sometimes too much nurturing sends the message that our kids are incapable of accomplishing things on their own and therefore they can develop low self-esteem.
Are you the Merilee or the Martha Stewart in this story? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject!
Visit to Georgia
8 years ago
5 comments:
Great story! I am currently witnessing the consequences of someone who was never personal responsibility. Our 21 year old nephew (who is still living with us) has to be reminded to clean his room and has to be woken up for work every morning. He spends the bulk of his discretionary time sleeping or playing video games. I really worry about what is going to happen after he gets married and has to face the responsibilities of being a husband and father. I'm going to try to prepare my girls a little better.
I hate to admit it, but I would be a Martha Stewart type. I am trying to do better and this book looks like a great read. Thanks Michelle.
I think I am a Merilee, almost to the extreme, anything goes as long as the kids can do it on their own! I need to be a wee bit more Martha, there is something to learn from both types. Great story.
I second Jessi's comments. I have a friend who’s about to leave her husband due to all the years he felt he was exempt from helping around the house. She has maids that come once a week, but even a couple who makes 1/4 a million dollars still have to pick up and tidy around the house, dishes, toys and life it happens every day. Give that guy a swift kick in the right direction and though I'm not a Mom, I strongly believe our husbands come prepackaged with skills from Moms. Good or Bad!!!
Me, I’m a recovering Martha… and I’m getting really good at being Merilee since I see the damage it can cause. Martha will always have her place, but Merilee makes for a better life.
I am both - depending on my mood and energy level. This is a good reminder to keep things in the right perspective!
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